Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I Finally Understand Democrats

I Finally Understand Democrats

By Johnny Alamo
After years of puzzlement and curiosity observing modern day Democrats, I think I have finally figured them out.
I'm constantly amazed that modern Democrats have evolved beyond living in caves.  I mean what other animal on this planet can disregard all common sense and logic and survive?  Scientists have recently discovered that even giant sea slugs that do not possess a brain as such can learn from past experiences.  That puts them a leg up over the current crop of liberals in this country.   I used to subscribe to the adage that liberalism was a mental disorder, but even Rainman would have a hard time buying into the standard mantra of the present day Democratic Party. In order to believe that Democrats have the answer today, you would have to believe:
That you can grow the entitlement class beyond the taxpayer class and never hit critical mass where there is no money left.
That using the military to oust a murderous thug dictator in 2003 was criminal, and using the military to oust a murderous thug dictator in 2011 was noble.
That the best way to grow the wealth of the private sector is to take all the money out of it.
That the best way to make us energy independent is to block any effort to produce more petrocarbons in this country.
That the best way to create jobs is to increase taxes and regulations on the job creators.
That the best way to stop arms from this country from getting into the hands of the drug cartels in Mexico is to provide arms to the drug cartels in Mexico.
That all the ills of the economy are due to the fat cat banks and other corporations, and the best way to deal with that is to provide billions in bailouts to the fat cat banks and other corporations.
That more unemployment checks create more jobs.
That investigating the background of George W Bush to the point that you have color photographs of his colon is proper vetting of the Chief Executive, but asking for Barack Hussein Obama's college records or for information on his association with a known terrorist is racist.
That somehow making firearms illegal will prevent criminals from using them.
That the life of a murderer on death row is sacred, but an unborn baby's is not.
That the best way to overcome our racist past is to enforce racist affirmative action policies.
That people who are too ignorant to get a free state issued I.D. card are smart enough to vote.
That the best way to overcome our current spending crisis is to spend more money.
That the federal government with no competition can provide a better health care product than the private sector with competition can.
That a grandma in a wheelchair is a bigger potential threat on an airplane than a guy with a name that takes phlegm to pronounce.
That we need to be sensitive to the feelings of people that subscribe to a religion that teaches that we all should submit to their version of righteousness or face beheading, but should demean and diminish those that believe in the religion that teaches we should love and embrace our neighbors no matter what religion they belong to.
That poll watchers who want to ensure that election laws are observed and the vote is without fraud are intimidating voters, and black radicals with clubs in front of a polling place are not.
That ice ages and the warming periods in between were not caused by man's influence on the earth but a half degree rise in average temperatures over 30 years is.
That using the equivalent of two gallons of fossil fuel to produce one gallon of ethanol makes sense because it is "renewable."
That a picture of a female guard in Abu Ghraib pointing at the genitals of a terrorist and laughing is deplorable but those same goofballs setting off an IED and killing our troops are just freedom fighters.
That a 70 year old woman with a Gadsden flag is a radical but an OWS protestor that defecates on a police car and breaks windows of businesses is a frustrated citizen.
That in spite of the fact that one third of the world is hungry it makes more sense to use food for fuel than drilling for a fuel source that nobody can eat.
The simple fact is that Democrats are the Dodo birds of the human race.  The Dodo was discovered by Portuguese explorers in the late 1500's.  The name comes from the Portuguese word "Doudo" which means simpleton.  They called this bird a simpleton because in their minds it lacked any common sense whatsoever.  That lack of common sense or survival instinct eventually led to its demise as a species.
Wait a minute, that's not really fair of me, I shouldn't equate Democrats to a simple minded flightless bird that was too stupid to run from predators.  The Dodo had a job foraging for food.

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